Background – A was someone who worked very diligently, lost a lot of weight and maintained it effectively. Now, she’s worried that she’s not “naturally thin” and “happy”.. whatever that means! We tend to put pressure on ourselves to make resolutions and to be happy around this time of the year .. so sharing it with you at an opportune moment. Here we go!
G: Hey, A 🙂 Excited about our session ..! Can we start .. tell me what you need my support with?
A: Hi G! Me too 🙂 basically I want to be happy G. That is my goal really. I don’t know what all type of details you want, I have checked my weight just this morning, got some blood tests also recently .. if you ask specifically I will share.
G: Oh, for this goal we will need other things A. (looking seriously)
A: Yeah, yeah! I will make a list and have it ready for our next call. Tell me ..
G: All we’ll need is a smile. A b-i-g bright cheerful smile!
A: Aww so sweet! That I have now only G 🙂 but I want to be happy in a different way. I have a sister, G. She is just so beautiful, naturally thin .. not like me! Eats whatever she wants – cakes, chips, and nothing bad happens! I did double masters, I work, have good kids .. good husband .. lost weight too – everything is nice. Now I want to be happy.
G: A, did you know this thing Kannada people do .. I am from Karnataka and for Ugadi (new year), we people have a teeny bit of jaggery with a teeny bit of neem flowers, the first thing in the morning after bath. You know why?
A: Oh, I did not know .. tell me?
G: To remind ourselves that life is 50-50, like it is for your sister, for you and for every single one of us. That is the nature of life ..! It is really not about anything else – rich, poor, job or studies – none of that matters. Right?
A: yeah .. but some people eat anything at anytime in any amounts they like no, G?
I was reading somewhere how the conversation that you have with your own self is the most important conversation there is!
Just like losing tens of kilos did not lead to happiness, so also eating cupcakes like there was no end, wouldn’t make you happy. It would make you have a stomach upset and throw up, that’s all. Going by other people’s external story gives ZERO clues about what their inner struggles are. Even if this other person happens to be your own sister!
Happiness is a decision you can make. And that’s all there is to it – your situation doesn’t have to change even by a dot for you to be happy!
And specifically to this context, we’re similar to our siblings in some ways and different in some other ways. Even when you have identical twins, genes aren’t entirely identical.
Do you want to be happy in 2019? Then, please give yourself permission to be so and decide that you will be happy no matter what.
This is what you have to do – think happy thoughts!
If you’re sad about your fat thighs – think a grateful thought like “wow, I have thighs!”
If you’re upset about eating junk food – think a gleeful thought like ” wow, I get to eat!”
A friend who lost her beloved dog thought “wow, I was fortunate to have had this dog” and felt grateful even in her grief.
To eat healthy, to go on a diet or to work towards a better body or wanting to improve in some other way, it is not required to criticize yourself and berate yourself.
Healthy eating for it’s own sake, weight loss for weight loss’s sake – that’s it.
Want another option?
You can choose to be whole, see the value in other side of ‘happy’ and allow for it!
You know what this would look like?
It’s like saying –
“hey skin, please hurt if I were to touch something hot – so, I’ll be more careful next time”
“hey eyes, please cry if some dust went in and is bothering you – so’ I’ll remember to protect you better “
“hey mind, please go guilty if I were to do Facebook 5 hours a day – so, I’ll be more mindful how I use time “
While hurt, cry and guilty are f-a-r from happy, they have a purpose and place.
So please, realize while you can be happy no matter what, recognize the usefulness of non-happy and embrace it.
I promise you it’s gonna make 2019 and every year thereafter a very meaningful one for you!